How working on your mindset can help you heal after heartbreak

White jigsaw puzzle with one yellow piece in the centre with the word mindset written on it

If you have been through a painful divorce or breakup you will know what heartbreak feels like. It can be especially difficult if you were blindsided by the end of a relationship. The emotional toll of this experience can be significant as you had no time to prepare. Of course, the mutual end of a relationship can be incredibly hard, but when it comes out of nowhere it can leave you feeling like the rug has been pulled from underneath you.

But what if I told you that your mindset plays a crucial role in healing from heartbreak? And that it can massively help you recover and move on?

By shifting your perspective and adopting some healthy mental habits, you can navigate the rough waters of heartbreak and emerge stronger on the other side. Here's how:

  • Acknowledge Your Emotions:  Don't bottle up your feelings. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, anger, or whatever else comes up.  Pushing down emotions only prolongs the healing process. You must feel your feelings and acknowledge them by accepting that they are a normal, and necessary part of the healing process. 
  • Self-Compassion is Key:  Be kind to yourself.  Breakups are tough!  Don't engage in negative self-talk or blame yourself excessively. When you start to talk to yourself in this way, turn off that thought by focusing on something else. The more you do this, the easier it will be to stop those negative thoughts in their tracks. 
  • Reframe Your Narrative:  Instead of dwelling on the negatives of the relationship or replaying past arguments, focus on the positives you're gaining from being single.  This is your time for self-discovery and growth! What can you do for yourself now? Are there things that you’ve always wanted to try but your ex didn’t? Maybe now is the time to try them!
  • Practice Gratitude:  Take some time each day to appreciate the good things in your life, big or small.  Gratitude can shift your focus from what you've lost to what you still have. I cannot underestimate the power of gratitude and I encourage all my clients to spend a few minutes on this everyday.
  • Embrace Self-Care:  Prioritise your well-being.  Eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and engage in activities that bring you joy. You can find moments of joy all around you: go for a walk and listen to the birds, listen to a favourite song, watch something funny, chat to a friend. Joy is everywhere - you just have to look for it.
  • Limit Contact with Your Ex:   This might be the hardest one, but giving yourself space from your ex allows you to heal and move on.
  • Remember Your Worth:  A broken relationship doesn't diminish your value.  Remind yourself of your strengths, talents, and the things that make you awesome. Make a list of all your strengths - not just career focused ones - and read them everyday to remind yourself of who you are.
  • Focus on the Future:  Don't get stuck in the past.  Start to visualise the kind of future relationship you desire and the qualities you want in a partner. A good way to do this is to journal. I have created a journal specfically to support women healing after heartbreak. Find out more about it 

Healing from heartbreak takes time, but by working on your mindset, you can transform this experience into a positive one. You'll emerge stronger, more resilient, and with a clearer understanding of what you truly want in life and love.

Remember, you are not alone.  Many people have walked this path before you, and you will too.  Be patient with yourself, and trust that brighter days are ahead.

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