How to manage your emotions after you have been blindsided by divorce.

Jul 12, 2023

 Divorce is can be a life-changing event that can cause immense emotional and psychological distress. While the decision to end a marriage is rarely easy, it becomes even more devastating when one partner is blindsided by the news. Being caught off guard by a divorce can have a huge impact on your well-being and sense of self. 

Discovering that your spouse wants a divorce without any prior warning can leave you reeling in shock. The emotions that follow are often overwhelming—betrayal, confusion, anger, sadness, and disbelief. This sudden upheaval can shatter your sense of security and lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. It’s really important to acknowledge these emotions and allow yourself time and space to process them. 

Often the emotions that you are experiencing are similar to those of the grieving process. You are grieving the loss of your marriage and grief is not a linear process (read my blog about the five stages of grief). You will have good days and bad. 

Make sure that you have a network of trusted friends around you so that you have people to talk to and vent to. Consider visiting a therapist or a divorce recovery coach  who have the skills needed to support you to process your emotions. Please don’t bottle up your emotions.

Journaling can be a really good way to process your emotions. Think about writing a letter to your ex detailing how they have made you feel. Be completely honest as you will never send this letter. It’s just a really cathartic way of processing. When you have finished writing, do something nice for yourself and when you are ready, burn the letter.

Remember that holding on to those emotions will prevent you from moving on so it’s important to let them go. This may not happen quickly but the more you focus on accepting what has happened and processing your feelings, the faster you will move on.

You can do this. You are strong and worthy of a brilliant life.

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