5 common mistakes people make after divorce or breakup

Jan 16, 2024
Corkboard with a note attached to it saying You will make mistakes - learn from them

When I first start working with clients, I often see the same mistakes being made by the vast majority.

Common themes like dating too soon, not focusing on self care and ignoring the emotional healing that they need to work through come up time and time again.

These are the five most common mistakes that I see my clients making and my advice on how to tackle them.

Rushing into New Relationships

One of the most common mistakes people make after a divorce or breakup is jumping right into a new relationship. While it might feel comforting to have someone by your side during such a difficult time, rushing into a new relationship can prevent you from fully healing. You might overlook red flags, create unrealistic expectations, and in worst cases, repeat the same mistakes that led to the end of your previous relationship. It's important to take time for yourself after a breakup, to reflect on your feelings and experiences, before entering a new relationship.

Burying Their Head in The Sand When It Comes to Finances

Another common mistake is avoiding the financial implications of a divorce or breakup. This can lead to significant financial stress later on. It is essential to understand the financial situation, create a budget, and keep track of expenses. Ignoring these responsibilities can result in an economic crisis. Therefore, getting educated about finances, perhaps with the help of a financial advisor, can go a long way in safeguarding your future.

Creating Conflict Around Co-parenting

Divorce or breakup can be especially challenging when children are involved. Unfortunately, some parents allow their personal feelings to create conflict around co-parenting. This not only harms the relationship between the parents but also affects the children. It's crucial to prioritize the children's well-being over personal differences and to communicate effectively with the other parent. This ensures a healthy environment for the children and reduces unnecessary stress.

Ignoring Emotional Healing

Many people tend to ignore the emotional healing process after a divorce or breakup. They may keep themselves busy, avoid discussing their feelings, or even deny their pain. However, this approach can lead to emotional baggage, which can affect future relationships and overall mental health. Seeking professional help, like coaching or counseling, can be immensely beneficial in navigating through this emotional minefield.

Not Focusing on Self Care

Last but not least, neglecting self-care is a common mistake people make after a divorce or breakup. Self-care is not just about physical health; it also includes mental and emotional well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and time for relaxation are all crucial for overall health. Also, pursuing hobbies, spending time with loved ones, and practicing mindfulness can improve mental and emotional health. Remember, it's okay to prioritise yourself and your needs during this challenging time.

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